look in my eyes, what do you see?

[Nov. 6th, 2005|02:50 pm]

[

music

Kenny Chesney-You Had Me From Hello

]

it's been awhile since i wrote an update.
i've been meaning to write lately but i just haven't.

i love my job right now.
cushing academy was definately the right place for me to be right now.
i just got a new job here, i'm a "dorm parent" so i make sure all the kids are here and stuff like that.
i'm getting paid to do this so its good.
i had to move apartments which was a bummer but i'm all moved in and i just have to organize my stuff a bit.
fall sports are almost done.
this is the last week for them.
then hockey season starts :-) i'm so pumped for that.

most of the kids at this school are really chill, and i get along with my bosses so its nice.
i get lonely sometimes which stinks.
but kristen and becca just came to visit me last night.
i brought them back to the train station a little while ago.
it was awesome to see them.

[Sep. 26th, 2005|11:13 pm]

[	mood	\|	chipper	]
[	music	\|	American Hi Fi-Another Perfect Day	]

a few days after josh called me i got an email from nate and he's in oklahoma which was so good to hear.
i'm not sure what scott is really up to but i have his email, i just need to write to him.

i went into boston this past weekend so see my faves :-)
sarah had the article about derek from the boston globe and gave it to me which was so greatful of her.
it was a really sad but good article.

while i went to visit everybody i realized i kinda miss being in class.
like i love my internship right now, it's so freaking amazing.
but at the same time taking a class wouldn't be bad.
i think next time i'm on co-op i'm going to look into taking a class too.

but the time i was in boston with my lovas was awesome.
saturday night kristen had a party and in the beginning it was themed "executive bros and ceo hos"
so we got to her place and she gave me a skirt, a shirt and a sexy bra.
it was so much fun.
i got to see alot of people too.
i saw kristen, becca, sarah, sam, jennie, star, jess timberlake, vanessa, jasmine, stephanie, brittany and a ton of other people.
it was wicked sweet.
sunday i was a complete bum.
i slept til 1pm then didnt want to leave the apartment at all.
but then i saw my michael christopher, me him and becca went to dinner at unos.
i went to breakfast in the dining hall with my kristen this morning.
then i had to leave to get back to my apartment at cushing so my cable could get installed.
the cable guy was here as i got back which was perfect timing.

so now i finally have cable :-)

tomorrow i'm supposed to go climb a mountain with cushing which should be cool.
but it all depends on how much it rains tonight.

OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS

[Sep. 14th, 2005|12:12 am]

[	mood	\|	ecstatic	]
[	music	\|	KENNY CHESNEY-I GO BACK	]

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD NIGHT.
FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I HEARD DEREK PASSED AWAY I'VE HAD A GENUINE SMILE ON MY FACE.
HIS DEATH IS HITTING ME PRETTY HARD BECAUSE THINGS AS HITTING CLOSER TO HOME THAN THEY WERE BEFORE.
ANY OF THE OTHER GUYS I KNOW FROM WEST POINT COULD BE OVER THERE AND ARE PUTTING THEIR LIVES IN DANGER.
IT SCARES ME.

I HADN'T TALKED TO JOSH IN LIKE 5 MONTHS.
JOSH IS THE ONE I'M THE CLOSEST WITH, HE'S CLOSE WITH MY FAMILY AS WELL.
AT WEST POINT HE SAID WE WERE HIS FAMILY AWAY FROM HOME, WHICH WAS A GREAT FEELING.
HE'S LIKE THE OLDER BROTHER I NEVER HAD.

WELL I HAD EMAILED HIM AND NATE MONDAY NIGHT TO SEE HOW THERE WERE AND WHAT THEY ARE UP TO.
WANTING TO SEE IF THEY WERE IN THE US OR NOT.
JOSH HAS MY CEELL NUMBER BUT SINCE I DONT HAVE GOOD CELL RECEPTION HERE I GAVE HIM MY APARTMENT NUMBER.

WELL HE CALLED ME TONIGHT.
I ANSWERED THE PHONE AND SAID "HI" AND HE WAS LIKE "IS THIS JESSICA?" AND I SAID "YES" THEN I HAD TO HOLD ON FOR A MINUTE WHILE HE TALKED TO SOMEONE IN THE BACKGROUND FOR A COUPLE SECONDS.
THEN HE WAS BACK AND HE SAID "DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?" AND I WAS KINDA IN SHOCK BUT WAS LIKE LIKE "IS IT JOSH?"
AND WE TALKED FOR AWHILE.
IT REALLY MADE MY WEEK HEARING FROM HIM.
WHEN I'M BUSY AT WORK I DON'T FREAK OUT OR WORRY ABOUT THE GUYS AS MUCH BUT AROUND MY APARTMENT I GET THINKING AND I SEE THE PICTURES I HAVE.

BUT JOSH TOLD ME HE'S BEEN PROMOTED TO CAPT, WELL THAT THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 2002 WAS SO CONGRATS TO THEM.
HE'S IN GEORGIA RIGHT NOW BUT IS GOING TO VIRGINIA ONCE HE'S FINISHED WITH HIS TRAINING HE'S IN NOW.
HIS PLANS ARE TO STAY IN THE US WHICH HELPS EASE MY WORRIES.
HE HAD BEEN IN KOREA FOR A YEAR AND LEFT HERE ON SEPT 11TH, 2003 AND THAT WAS JUST A BAD OMEN TO ME BUT HE MADE IT BACK SAFE.

JOSH IS SUCH A BROTHERLY TYPE AND HE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT SCHOOL AND TELLING ME HOW PROUD HE WAS OF ME AND ASKING ME ABOUT BOYS.
WOW I WANT TO SEE HIM SOON.
I'M KINDA PISSED AT MYSELF CUZ HAD I TALKED TO HIM A FEW DAYS EARLIER I COULD HAVE SEEN HIM, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DWELL ON THAT.
I'M JUST EXCITED TO HEAR THAT HE'S DOING WELL.

I MISS HIM AND NATE AND SCOTT ALOT.
I'M PRETTY SURE NATE IS IN THE US OUT IN OKLAHOMA BUT SCOTT MIGHT BE OVERSEAS AGAIN.
LAST I TALKED TO HIM OVER A YEAR AGO HE HAD ALREADY FINISHED ONE TERM IN IRAQ AND WAS LEAVING FOR ANOTHER ONE.

SO I AM JUST SO ECSTATIC TO HEAR FROM JOSH.
DEFINATELY MADE MY DAY, WELL WEEK.

TO THE REST OF THE SOLDIERS MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

RIP DEREK HINES 09.01.05 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MISSED

RIP Derek

[Sep. 11th, 2005|02:50 pm]

[	mood	\|	sad	]
[	music	\|	Puff Daddy-I'll Be Missing You	]

my heart broke this past wednesday.
i was on a quick break in the AT room so i was surfing the internet at my apartment.
like usual i was checking out the hockey recruitment stuff for next year.
i'm on a messageboard for college hockey and i see the post "Former Army Hockey Player First LT Derek Hines Killed in Action"
i instantly began to cry.

derek had graduated from west point in 2003.
i saw him play in countless hockey games.
i've talked to him after many of them.
he was such an amazing guy as well as a good hockey player.

i didn't believe the posting about his death so i searched more sites only to learn it was true and my mind wasn't playing games with me.
he died september 1st, 2005 after being fatally shot over in Afghanistan.

last night i was driving to walmart and hanaford and listening to the country station around here, one of derek's friends called in and requested a kenny chensey song in his remeberance.
the tears began to flow again.
it was then it hit me that derek was really gone.

it's such a scary thought for me because i've known so many army hockey players over the years.
it makes me wish i heard from josh and nate more.

they are always in my prayers but it's scary knowing that they could possibly die fighting for our country.

RIP 09.01.05 Derek Hines, You Will Be Missed Greatly

sprained foot... bummer :-/

1 comment|post comment

[Sep. 8th, 2005|09:05 pm]

[

music

Jesse McCartney-Beautiful Soul

]

found out today my foot is sprained.
it developed a sexy bruise too.

leah told me i could not be able to run anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.
i'm hoping its the few days cuz i miss running and i need to run.
a few weeks will make me sad.

i love being an athletic training major

[Sep. 7th, 2005|10:38 pm]

[	mood	\|	uncomfortable	]
[	music	\|	Averi-Everything With You	]

wow it's been awhile since i updated last.

i worked alot at the children's place, usually 40-50 hours each week which was some sweet cash.
my last day there was last thursday.
saturday i moved into cushing academy which is where i'm doing my co-op (internship) for the semester.
definately shed a ton of tears saying goodbye to my mother.
as much as we fight, i love her so much.
i figured out we fight so much because we are so much alike, not only personalities but i look like a spitting image of her at 19 years old.
my father and christian drove up to cushing saturday with me.
saturday night we worked on my apartment went out to dinner.
they spent the night.
the next morning we got more stuff for my apartment.

did i mention while living at cushing i have my own apartment, like its sweet.

they left around 1 and i got ready to go into boston for the night to see some NU lovas.
i got to northeastern and saw HP and like usually i ran and jumped to give him a hug, wasn't expecting to see him so that was sweet. talked to him and joe for awhile.
sarah came and signed me in so i could see becca and sam.
was hanging out there and kristen called :-)
she came over and seeing her was amazing.
that girl is the love of my life, not that my other friends aren't but we just get along amazingly.
then trenton made the trek across campus to see me.

then we wanted to go to dinner at the cheesecake factory but it was a crazy wait so we went to california pizza kitchen instead then got dinner at the cheesecake.
dinner was sweet.
it was me, kristen, becca, michael christopher, sarah and sam.
we got back and i was so tired we didn't go out so we hung around for awhile.

the next morning i had to get back to cushing for my first day of work.
work was cool, it was a short day since the athletes just got back to campus.

tuesday was my first real day of work.
it's preseason so it mean they do 3 a days and the first one is at 7am so i'm in the AT room at 6am. and i'm there till about 6pm.
it isn't too bad since i worked longer and harder days when i was at west point.
most of the athletes are so polite and nice.
they appreciate the things we do for them which is so different being at a private school instead of a public school.

all the faculty and coaches are great too.
the coaches are big into positive coaching skills.
i'm loving it here so much.

tonight after dinner i decided to go for a run because i'm determined to get back into shape especially since i wanna start to run a few road races at some point soon.
had a sweet 4 mile run and was cooling down and doing stride and with only 4 strides to go the bottom of my foot feels like it rips.
so i wasn't able to finish and right now i'm having a hard time putting pressure on it.
it's swollen and starting to turn black and blue already.
it's incredible uncomfortable feeling. i've been icing and taking advil but i just want to walk normal.
leah said she'd take a look at it in the morning.
i don't want it to be serious because i just want to be able to run and not have to deal with problems.

2 comments|post comment

[Aug. 9th, 2005|01:03 am]

[	mood	\|	blah	]
[	music	\|	Alison Krause-You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All	]

i feel like all i do now is work.
which isnt a bad thing cuz i take the extra shifts they offer me.
more shifts=more money.
but i don't see any of my friends.
this week i'm working almost 50 hours.
which means my next paycheck will be B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!

ahhh i can't take it anymore

(no subject)	[Jul. 28th, 2005\|04:27 pm]
i can't get back to mass any quicker. if i don't go soon i'm going to go crazy.
link	3 comments\|post comment

[Jul. 28th, 2005|01:09 pm]

[	mood	\|	aggravated	]
[	music	\|	Kelly Clarkson - You Found Me	]

i hate being home.

i don't understand how i lived the past 18 years in my house with my family.
my family drives me absolutely insane.
my mom is being a major bitch lately.
christian is just a plain asshole, he needs to realize he isn't all high and mighty like he thinks he is.
davis is never home.
i never see my dad.
so basically the 2 people that keep me sane in my house are never home.

i wish i was back at west point.
i'm not home for 5 outta the 7 days a week.
i was making a pretty decent amount of money
it was hott and a pain dealing with annoying kids from 8am-9pm but it was doable.
it also helped that i got to hang out with the hockey counselors and the other ATs at night.
they are cool kids especially mike.
we'd stay up just talking til like 1am and it was nice.
i miss him alot :-/
too bad i'm home now where life sucks majorly.

the only good thing about being home is that danielle is here yet i haven't really seen her.
i was gone for like a month so i never saw her.
and now we work like completely opposite schedules so we can't even go to the gym again.
i get to spend the whole day with her tomorrow though :-) for like the first time since we were in florida.

oh boy do i need to go to the gym.
i feel so fat lately.
i think it's because i'm getting fat.
the weight needs to come off and stay off.
i hate being so self concious, doesn't help having my brother call me fat and my mom be like "watch what your eating"
i need to run alot except my foot is bothering me big time, i guess i'll just have to suck it up for now.

only a little more than a month and i'm back to massachusetts.
i start working at cushing academy sept 5th so i'm hoping to move in like sept 1st or 2nd.
while i'm up there working i'm also going to get a job at a mall.
hopefully american eagle, having that discout would be nice.

(i wrote this entry on the 24th just never connected my laptop to the internet to post it until now)

i'm home for all of 3.7 seconds it feels like

[Jul. 2nd, 2005|07:35 pm]

[

music

oasis- wonderwall

]

just got home from the cape.
it was cool.
i saw katie :-)
and becca came and spent 2 days with us at our house.

well i'm back but not really.
tomorrow i start my 3 week job at west point.
i'm living at west point sundays-thursdays.
i'm home thursday night-sunday mornings.
this is a good part of my summer cuz i'm racking in the dough but i sucks cuz i'll barely get to see anybody.

oh since i'm working at wp i can only work friday and saturdays at the children's place but guess how many hours i have this week...

NONE!! they are punishing me for not working a 4th of july shift. they suck.
i want the job at american eagle so bad.

now i'm off to unpack and pack yet again and do some laundry.

xoxo

the cape

[Jun. 24th, 2005|06:46 pm]

[

music

goo goo dolls- iris

]

i'm off to the cape tomorrow for a week with the family.
and its not just me, my parents and my brothers.
its them plus some aunts, uncles and cousins.
should be fun and interesting.

hopefully while i'm there i'll get to see k-tizzle :-) i miss my carrot head.
and becca might even come by since she'll be in boston.

[Jun. 14th, 2005|12:43 pm]

[

music

papa roach-scars (acoustic)

]

wow its been a long time since i updated last.

i left for florida with danielle and her family may 20th and we were in florida til june 1st.
we spent some time in disney which was awesome.
the whole trip was cool.
too much good stuff happened to sum it all up.

since i've been home i've been working at the children's place.
me and danielle started going back to the gym.
my brother had his birthday so we went out to dinner at gasho which was good.

i saw becca the other day :-)
she's the second northeastern person i've seen since i've been home.
i got to see kristen while we weree both in disney.

3 comments|post comment

FLORIDA!!!	[May. 19th, 2005\|01:25 pm]
at this time tomorrow i will be in an airplane flying to florida with danielle and her family :-)
link	post comment

[May. 3rd, 2005|12:37 pm]

[	mood	\|	nervous	]
[	music	\|	howie day-collide	]

i'm getting my wisdom teeth out soon.
i want them outta my mouth but i dont wanna go into surgery.
i'm nervous and scared.

1 comment|post comment

[May. 2nd, 2005|03:46 pm]

[	mood	\|	sad	]
[	music	\|	papa roach-scars	]

this entry isnt to make any of my friends from home feel bad or anything but i miss everyone up in boston so much.
northeastern was such an amazing time for me.
at first i wasn't sure about it but as time went on i realized i was meant to go to northeastern.

i miss all my friends at northeastern.
it stinks cuz like none of my friends are home from college but even once they are home its not the same.
at northeastern i could walk down the hall to see people.
now i have to drive across town.

i just can't wait till we all roadtrip.
i need to see kristen and becca soon.
i miss jennie alot too.
i miss northeastern and everyone there.

but on a good note... danielle comes home in 3 days :-)

people please leave me comments

1 comment|post comment

[Apr. 22nd, 2005|02:35 am]

[

music

green day-boulevard of broken dreams

]

how come nobody leaves my entries comments?
no comments makes me sad.

well i'm studying for my last final of my freshman year.
its at 10:30am and its anatomy and physiology 2.
it's going to suck but i can't wait till its over.

but so far my grades are looking good.
B+ in college writing (i suck in english)
B in physics (i defiantely thought i was going to have to retake it after the crazy final)

and i have 2 more grades i need but it's not looking too bad this semester :-)

i get to see danielle soon :-)
she's making her first trip to boston with my dad, davis and christian to help me pack my shit up.

its so sad :'(
tonight is my last night in my bed with jennie as my roomie.

3 comments|post comment

NY :-) and :-(

[Apr. 21st, 2005|02:24 am]

[	mood	\|	nostalgic	]
[	music	\|	eve 6-here's to the night	]

as excited as i am for finals to be done and to be able to go back home to new york, i just wanna stay in boston.
today (wed) was a big day for people to move out and it was sad to watch them pack up their cars.
thats going to be me on friday.

something that was sad and i wasn't expecting it to so much was when i saw a couple of the hockey players packing up their stuff.
i just met them a few weeks ago but they were some cool kids to chill with.
funny as hell not to mention.
but seeing them go made me realize i can't just call or go visit them drunk whenever i want.

what also sucked was i saw my friend rob packing up but he's not leaving yet which is a good thing.
laura leaves me sometime after her final tomorrow (thurs) and its also going to be the last time i see sarah for awhile too.

the worst part of leaving it packing everything up.
i dont wanna do it yet cuz it makes my room look empty but my dad plans on being back in NY at 6pm on friday which gives us less than 2 hours.
which definately wont happen cuz my suitcases are at home.

but for now i'm off to sleep in my extra long twin bed for the second to last night here in steston west room 450 with my awesome roomie jennie.

[Apr. 13th, 2005|02:03 am]

[

music

alterbridge-eyes wide open

]

guess who's back in good old monroe-woodbury in 9 days...

thats right me.

this past weekend was alot of fun.
friday night i went to merrimack college with kristen, becca and lauren.
we stayed with kristens friend mark for the night and we partied there.
it was a good time.

mark drove us back into boston in the morning.
i headed over to clinical from 12-7.
it took me an hour to get there and an hour to get back so i actually had clinical from 1-6.
enc had a double header baseball game.
they won and lost a game.
i got some sunburn on my face.

later on that night i went over to the track house with kristen and becca.
definately a good night.
i was playing beer pong and i could actually sink some shots.
becca and i were down 7 cups to 2 cups and ended up winning.
i drank jungle juice for the first time in my life, and it's yummy.
we left the party and i kinda came back with this kid brian.
that didn't last long cuz he was being a dick.

i went to visit my friend trenton and while i was visiting him i saw some of the freshman hockey players at northeastern.
theres one here, jason blain who knows one of the players at west point that i know so i've been wanting to talk to him but i felt stalkerish but i talked to him that night.
turns out we have 2 friends in common.
he even asked me for my number ;-)
i hung out with him and 2 others for awhile until i decided to go to bed.

sunday was a blah day didn't get much done.

monday was nice cuz i didnt have class till 250.
but it stunk cuz i had class till 540 :-/
i wanted to go to the gym but i couldnt cuz i lost my id and for a while there i thought i left it in the hockey players room from saturday night and that i'd have to get it but it turns out i found it under a pile of my shit. lol

tuesday was my second to last day of classes.
it was my last clinical practice skills and anatomy class.

today (wed) is my last day of class.
i have college writing at 250 and physics at 435.
then i'm done with classes only to have finals.

[Apr. 10th, 2005|03:34 am]

[

mood

drunk

]

tonight was def amazsng.
like amzing cant even describe it.